(5) Strength in Suffering Series
Love and suffering often go hand in hand. Perhaps it’s because love is a labor (1 Thess. 1:3). Love takes effort; it requires attention and diligence. It is never finished or fully formed. It is either lessening or growing all the time. Paul wants Christians’ love to grow, to abound.
And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ, being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God. – Philippians 1:9-11
Paul gives these dear ones ways to work on their love. Knowledge and discernment are two foundational stones that he tells them will develop their love. Knowledge comes from God, so developing love requires diligent study. You may have grown up in the Church knowing a ton of principles, but not because you studied them. To grow love, you have to ask, “Why do I believe what I believe? Why is it important to worship God on Sunday? Why don’t I accept other creeds and beliefs? What if I’d been born a Muslim or a Buddhist, a Catholic or a Calvinist? What makes me so certain I’m following the true path of God?” These questions need answers because God says through Paul to Timothy that it’s a Christian’s job to “give a reason for the hope that is in you” (2 Timothy 2:15). Searching for the answers and questioning what you know—questioning whether your knowledge is based in God’s way of thinking—is what God meant for you to do. He gave you His word, the thoughts that come from Him, so that you can develop not only your faith, but the love that grows out of your faith.
God will send people into your life that make you question your faith. If you don’t take the questions seriously, and really seek to answer them from the knowledge and understanding that God gives, you will miss the opportunity to grow your love. Those people may be your own children. Study with them. In helping them understand, you will better open your own mind to the doubts you’ve not confronted. You can know the truth. Be patient and be willing to admit when you’re wrong or not studied up on a principle. Even your kids will understand and will appreciate when you study to show them the answers later.
Growing in love happens through trial and error. Daily, each of us goes through the steps of having options and choosing the better route. The more you exercise this ability, the better you become at choosing the best way. Paul calls it “approving what is excellent.” This is discernment, and this skill increases one’s love.
The kind of love Paul is talking about is the love that seeks the best possible outcome for the one you love. As a mother, I can seek the best possible outcome for my child’s wellbeing and refuse to let the toddler stick a fork in an electrical outlet. Yes, he will be temporarily disappointed that I’ve ruined his fun, but he will be alive and healthy. Taking this into the eternal sphere, I act through my love to bring about the best possible outcome for my Christian brothers and sisters. This can include making personal sacrifices they might not know about to bring peace. This can include waiting patiently to address an issue when I know that gentleness will be best to help them grow. This can include confronting wrongdoing firmly, knowing my Christian sibling is in trouble and intent on continuing in their sin. Every situation calls for discernment, which comes from my intent to do what is best to help the one I love.
Paul also says godly discernment has “sincere” intentions. Sincerity is sometimes confusing, since the Devil makes us question our motives all the time! To express the meaning of sincerity in the text, Paul uses a Greek word that means to take a sheet of valuable metal and unroll it in the bright light of the sun to detect any impurities. Roll your motive out. Is your motive mixed with the rust of personal intentions or is your motive the pure gold of wanting what’s eternally best for the other person? Do you want to be seen as being right or are you willing to be nobody to help the soul of your sister? One can do a good thing with a wrong motive. Ask yourself the questions, “Am I doing this because I want others to see I’m right or righteous? Am I doing this so that others will look up to me and seek my advice?” During the time Paul wrote this letter, he was considered the lowest nothing. He was a prisoner with no power over whether he lived or died. And he didn’t care how he was viewed as long as the Christians he was writing to were trusting in God and looking to their heavenly home. His focus was their salvation, the best thing for them. He tells the Philippian Christians to love purely without other agendas because catering to your own agenda corrupts your love. Nobody wants that “offense” or stumbling block in their lives. Paul wanted these dear ones to be without offense, living their best life until the day of Christ. If you are practicing your love by trying to do what is best for your sister and by learning to do this sincerely, don’t give up when you make mistakes. Mistakes teach us to do better, choose better, and think better. Keep rolling out your motive and keep trying. This is the labor of your love.
Lastly, did you know God’s love is contagious? When you grow in God’s love, it will reproduce good things in you. Paul tells the Philippian Christians that God’s love, working through them, fills them with new righteous thoughts and righteous deeds. As you study and learn how to show God’s love more purely every day, you are showing Him praise and shining His brightness. It will not be easy, but it will be worth it!